Rising steep and stark within the Devil's Head area, the climb known as Everyone Has Cancer offers a compact but technical test for trad climbers seeking an honest challenge just a stone’s throw from South Platte’s bustling access points. This single-pitch route is a concentrated slice of Colorado’s rugged energy, starting from an unusual ledge about 30 feet up the face that climbers can reach via a straightforward scramble around a towering pine. The journey begins with a hand traverse to the right, skirting across the lower reaches of the adjacent 137 Cesium Reindeer route, before committing to a hand-cranking off-width crack that defines the climb’s crux section.

The off-width demands solid technique—this is not a climb for those unfamiliar with wider crack systems. Beyond this physical test, the terrain softens into scattered crack lines that carry you through to the anchors atop either CCCP Design Flaws or Glow in the Dark, offering a reliable setup for descent. The protection demands a rack ranging from small to large cams (#0.5-4 cam sizes) with an optional beefy #5 for added security, preparing climbers for tricky placements in the off-width segment.

Set against the Colorado high country’s dusty stone and pine-scented air, this climb feels both raw and accessible. It doesn’t stretch long, but its focused moves and bold start make it a worthy objective for those sharpening trad skills or looking for a quick but memorable lead. The approach trail is short and simple, making it well suited for afternoon climbs when the west wall catches the sun's warm glow. Descending via rappel from well-established anchors is straightforward, but attentive rope work is essential since the terrain below lacks forgiving ledges.

A word of caution: while the route doesn’t extend far, the quality of rock demands respect, particularly around the off-width where placements can be elusive and fall potential higher than the route length suggests. The climb invites a committed mindset paired with solid trad fundamentals—perfect for builders of confidence in crack climbing who favor practical, focused adventure over sprawling epic routes.

For outdoor lovers drawn to Chernobyl Wall’s distinct personality encapsulated by steep stone and the raw pulse of the Rockies, Everyone Has Cancer presents a uniquely intense, short burst of adventure wrapped in practical climbing logic. Whether you’re a local seeking to sharpen technique or a visiting climber craving a solid, well-protected pitch without the crowds, this route quietly delivers.